Tuesday, August 16, 2011

DIY BOOBS

"Boob" is the perfect word. The B looks like an aerial view of them, the 2 o's look like a front view and the b looks like a side view.
(via Peter Griffin, Family Guy)

Boobs are something that drives both girls and guys crazy.
I mean no matter how much you deny, if you ever see a woman with super huge boobs, you will definitely take a second glance, be it in envy or otherwise.

And as a girl growing up, having boobs (or the lack of it) meant a lot to me :(
AND VERY UNFORTUNATELY, i'm the kind who lacks in that department hahaha
my best friend used to always tell me "wah you're damn flat" and all that
and it's definitely hurtful though i didn't say much about it.
and thankfully i was in an all girls' school so guys didn't come into the picture when boobs were a super sensitive topic :x

And being a typical kiasu scared boob-less girl as we all are, I've tried out tons of hearsay remedies for being flat-chested lor
some of it were:
drinking soya bean milk, drinking papaya milkshake, doing push ups, massaging your boobs, not hunching your back etcetc

and yes obviously i tried everything lah!!! doesn't cost me anything plus it gives me hope!!!!!

but alas, those were just RUMOURS :(

- over-consuming soya bean milk isn't very good for your body (something related to breast cancer) so i damn kiasi don't drink a lot
- papaya milkshake gives me diarrhea somehow
- push ups are too hard to do hahaha plus it makes your boobs hard cause of the muscles. very slightly bigger but harder boobs.. hm :/
- if people massage their arms to make their arms lose fats, won't massaging your boobs make your boobs loose fat and become smaller too???!!! o.O
- i don't see why hunching your back makes your boobs smaller leh.. so i didn't listen to this i'm still hunching my back lol

+++

and then when i started online shopping, something caught my attention.
FCUP COOKIES!!!!!
click HERE for more pictures
the cookies were quite ex (i think $50?) if you compared it to our usual cookies but if it promises HUGE BOOBS by just consuming some sweet yummy cookies, WHY NOT???
and at that point of time i had online friends who had sprees for the cookies and i bought one box (which i think lasted for 1 month? i can't remember) from her and followed the timing to eat them, with super big hopes for super big boobs with each bite HAHAHAH

obviously I had no money for surgery, obviously i was desperate, obviously i was young, obviously I want to look good
but more obviously i scared die.

so i went to research like crazy about these cookies cause i didn't want to end up with some breast cancer or whatever from the hormones or whatever's inside the cookies
and from what i read, apparently these cookies contained pueraria mirifica, which is some natural herb or something that helps enlarge breasts naturally.
and everyone feels damn assured when they see the word "natural" cause it feels like it's completely safe and all.
so without thinking i went ahead and bought the cookies.

plus, i also saw a video back then on youtube about fcup cookies review, showing how a woman gained 1 inch (increased by one cup size) in chest circumference from the cookies.
she initially had a D cup already and after that went up to a DD (cause she wants F, as promised by the cookies hahaha) cause of the cookies. so the video claimed that the cookies were effective.

BUT MY RESULT?
NO INCREASE IN BOOB SIZE BUT MY MONEY DROP BY $50 LOR.
so i guess it didn't work too well for me :(

and some time later i read that the size of your boobs (where your body fat is deposited) is determined genetically. meaning no matter how much hormone pills or boob stimulating herbs you take, the result won't vary much.

just like how for me, my fats are mainly deposited on my thighs (i said before, i have really fat thighs) cause my genes said so! #likeaboss
so whenever i gain or lose weight, my tummy, my cheeks, my arms, my boobs don't become bigger or smaller..... whereas the change is quite significant on my thighs T.T
AND NOW IT'S DAMN BIG BTW HAHAH

so i guess the reason why the D cup ang moh's boobs grew bigger is because her body, from the start, already deposits a large amount of fats in her boobs. so when she ate those cookies (which makes you fat), a lot of those fats goes to her boobs, as her genes made it to be.

so suay for me, my thighs probably doubled a few years back cause of the cookies i ate... FML!
so if i'm the spokesperson i'll name them ThunderThighs Cookies and not fcup cookies :'(

and recently i heard of this Must Up candy which works the same as the FCup cookies i guess, so i won't risk it :s


MY CONCLUSION?
you can't make your boobs bigger literally unless you gain weight and gain fats.
so if you want boobs, stop friggin starving yourselves girls!!! haiyo.
or you could go for cosmetic surgery... which is fucking expensive and will bombard all our pockets T.T


BUT..........
NOBODY SAID YOU CAN'T MAKE THEM LOOK BIGGER AT AN AFFORDABLE PRICE :P

here comes the part where i like the most!

apart from underwire pushup bras with super thick almost-fireproof paddings, there are a lot more that we as girls can do to make ourselves look FULLER ~~~
HAHAHAH AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YOUR MUMS YOU READ THESE THINGS HERE OKAY LOL!

I think Nu Ren Wo Zui Da is one of the best shows EVERRRRRRRR for girls!!!
the below episode shows how celebrities fake their cleavages!
YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT!!!
and this is part 1 of the episode and you can watch part 2 and 3 on youtube if you wish to.
it proves that EVEN CELEBRITIES will do these tricks to make themselves look like they have big boobs and cleavage okay! what more us, mere commoners :'(
but i really respect them for this episode, seriously! :)


not convinced yet?
how about watching a MALE create his own CLEAVAGE out of skin??????
HOLY FRIGGIN SHIT. RESPECTTTTTTT!!!!!


Amazed by the power of nubras yet? ^^
Not only can you wear it for backless dresses and tube tops, nubras can help BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE!!! :D
Wanna get some of that magical booby awesomeness at only $12 per pair?
(imo i think it's better to get 2 sets of nubras as seen in the above videos :p i have 2 pairs myself cause bigger is always better hahaha)
Order them now from TheBeautyFame!!!
Quote "PXDKITTY" with your purchase to get a FREE MYSTERY GIFT!!!



the best part is that the padding is SPONGEY & LIGHT-WEIGHT (so it doesn't drop off easily), and the outer layer is covered by cloth so it doesn't stick to your clothing and it doesn't reflect off an awkward shine in pictures especially when your dress is too thin (normal silicone nubras will shine from underneath your clothing)
TRUE STORY, IT HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE. LIKE EVERY PICTURE I KEEP NOTICING MY BOOBS LOOKED DAMN SHINY, GROSS :'(



anyway, introducing my usual sad boobless self.... i'm being completely honest so please save all the "omg you're so flat" criticisms. i've had enough of that.
and i know my body well enough, which is why you don't see me in revealing clothing with deep plunging necklines or whatever, hmph!



boobless but still must act cool. maintain, maintain.


trying damn hard to force something out..... okay not working. -.-


SO I WENT TO THE TOILET WITH MY 2 NEW NUBRAS FROM THEBEAUTYFAME
MUAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA WAIT FOR THE MAGIC
this should be the first time ever i take pictures like these??? (i just got my 2 nubras today lmao)
maybe if i post this on fb i will get a lot of tiko peks commenting "nice pic..." "wow..." even if i had no make up on
cause tiko peks only look at boobs and don't even care if the girls' face machiam langa by lorry hahaha
K MAYBE I'M JUST JEALOUS OF GIRLS WITH BIG BOOBS WITH ALL THEIR CLEAVAGE PHOTOS ON FACEBOOK, FINE.

BUT NOW I ALSO HAVE!!!!! FOR ONCE!!!! LOL!!!


if i did an X-ray now, you can see the side of my boobs all fake one all nubras and cloth padding hahahahahahhahahahah
then push push push plus my own push up underwire bra LMAO
NUBRA IS LIKE EFFING GENIUS OF AN INVENTION MAN


kkkkk
enough of my boobs
no "you are such a slut" yada yada comments pls.
YOU CAN DO THE SAME TOO
JUST SPEND $24 ON 2 SETS OF NUBRA OKAY???
Order them from TheBeautyFame!!!
Quote "PXDKITTY" with your purchase to get a FREE MYSTERY GIFT!!!

and really lah.
i only took those pictures to prove a point.
and I USUALLY DON'T TAKE PICS LIKE THAT IF YOU KNOW ME FOR LONG ENOUGH
so yah~~~~

JUST SHARING CAUSE I KNOW 99.9999% GIRLS AREN'T HAPPY WITH THEIR BOOBS,
neither am i.
but we can't all afford surgery so this is the closest we can get :p
and we shall be contented..... unless we strike toto or smth! ^^

OKAY HAPPY DIY-ING YOUR BOOBS :P :P

LOVE YOU ALL!

12 comments:

Celia said...

wow awesome post! could totally use that!

Anonymous said...

can you also teach us how to get fairer underarm.this is a problem for most girls too as they do not know what to use to remove hairs or to keep fairer.thanks!

Anonymous said...

Just a few months ago, the news reported something about F-cup cookies. I think 2 girls ate alot of it and they had some problem with their health. I can't remember if its kidney or what and the doctors were saying they are of no help AT ALL and they are harmful if you eat alot of it!!

I really hope you didn't take too much of the f-cup cookies! :(

Anonymous said...

Yah teach us how to keep fairer underarm and how to properly remove underarm hairs without leaving funny blak dots that's sooo gross!

Jenny said...

How sticky is this bra? Does it stick on well even when running, wearing for a long period of hours and after perspiring ?

Anonymous said...

Love your blog! <3

Anonymous said...

Do a USTREAM soon? ^^

Anonymous said...

hi! no offence but just asking what's ur bra size? cause i'm a A75 and i'm not sure if the bra would work and make my breast look bigger :(

Anonymous said...

Love you so much PXDkitty:D Thanks for saving small boobs people like me. Hoho. cant wait to try too!

Anonymous said...

do have a trick to make boobs look bigger! Apply bronzer between them try it :)

Anonymous said...

My boob smaller than your!

Anonymous said...

Cool