Thursday, October 27, 2011

Online Fishermen

"hey u there?"

"wanna go rounding?"

"wat u doing?"

"hi u r hot"

"hii, mind intro?"

"u look pritty.. be frens?"

I'm sure many of us girls have encountered these sort of guys online who chat up like 10 girls on Facebook at the same time hoping for one to reply them. I call this fishing. These guys are just blindly casting out a huge net into the sea of girls online on my Facebook chat list, hoping for one dumb girl to get caught in the net and reply them.

And most of the time (like 99.9%), they are just flirts and douchebags.
Especially when they chat you up when clearly YOU ARE ATTACHED. gawd.

Okay MOST of the time these guys are just plain annoying.

So here is my personal TOP MUST-BLOCK / MUST-IGNORE GUYS ONLINE list:

1. Perverts
These guys say the most inappropriate things. "hey ;) nice boobs, nice body, nice legs yada yada"
be it on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, whatever. And usually on their walls they share really distasteful jokes or pictures of women, treating girls only as objects for sex. Gross.
These are the guys who will treat you with utter disrespect.
If you get together with them, they will most likely dump you for a girl with a hotter body, quarrel with you just because you refuse to have sex with them, ask you to do all the chores at home for them cause "you're a girl, it's your duty". MCP, no thanks.

2. Extreme Flirts
It's always nice to have people saying nice things to you like "hey pretty babe", especially when you're single! It's kind of like an ego boost, like although you haven't met your right partner, someone out there sees the beauty in you. BUT there are some guys who give their compliments out too easily! These are the extreme flirts.
I would steer away from these guys the moment I see them.
Their walls would be filled with girls' comments flirting back with them, their activities would be filled with commenting on girls' pictures and wall posts, replying only girls on Twitter etc.
Flirting is fine.. every couple starts out from flirting. But why are they dangerous?
Cause they flirt TOO MUCH! These are the guys who cannot resist talking to members of the opposite sex even when they're attached.
I'm aware that some of them might actually be the most charming person you've ever seen...
BUT if you, knowing that they can't give up other girls for you, still choose to be attached to them, be prepared for your biggest heart break ever when he cheats on you. You asked for it man.

3. Juvenile Delinquents
These are your usual ahbengs who do all the vices and can't stop looking for trouble. They might be loyal to you cause some of them really are tiong xim.
Their Facebook walls might have some posts with their friends laughing at some fights at whichever club.. something like:

"xiiaofire: yesterday was cool! 6 guys vs 3 of us!"
"xiiaowater: we pa busy toh! they kena whack until so jialat lol"
"xiiaowind: let's go party again tonight man. see those losers again we give them again"

So why do you have to stay away from them?
If bad boys are your type, go ahead.
But when you get older (yes, old like me...), you'll realize how important stability is. And I mean stability in your life. Having a good night's rest knowing that you or your loved one won't be arrested or sued for some crap you didn't bargain for.
It's actually a really painful thing when you have to live in fear and pray for the one you love to not be arrested or found.

4. Psychos / Stalkers
At first they praise you to the skies, comment on EVERY SINGLE THING you post and seem to have opinions on everything about you. But when you ignore them long enough, they turn tables and insult you calling you a bitch and whore.
These people are out of their minds. No point quarreling with them. And no point even giving them any form of attention trying to explain yourselves. LOL BLOCK!

5. Transformers
These are the guys who post pictures of cars, motorbikes etc as their Facebook display pictures. Like... what's wrong with your face such that you can't just show it?
Instead of feeling comfortable seeing your CAR FACE, people just shun away more cause they think there is something wrong with you, you know?
Or are you trying to show off your wealth and want to attract money-grubbing girls? Oh wait, is that car even yours???
Either that or they're being completely honest in their display pictures cause they're in fact Autobots or Decepticons. That, I have nothing to say.

6. English #fail
These guys make horrendous spelling mistakes and can't even form basic coherent sentences. I'm not even talking about errors with past perfect or past continuous tense and all.
These are the guys that can't even tell the difference between "They are" and "There", "You are" and "You IS", and form sentences such as "nice pic boobs hot you call me we fun time" like they can't even be arsed to make use of punctuation marks!!!!!
Okay, you get my drift.
These mistakes are actually a huge eyesore to many people although we keep mum about it.
And it's best you avoid speaking to people like that lest their terrible English cause some misunderstandings and you end up extremely frustrated while they are still blissfully oblivious to what's going on.


Having said all these, it doesn't mean that you should ignore EVERY guy who chats you up.
You have to QC (quality check), you know? ^^ Check that they're none of the above before replying them, hahaha!

And I have a confession to make.....
My boyfriend, Martin, and I actually sort of met on Facebook.
Yes, after we got together, I got to know from Zee that he was actually Facebook chatting with a number of girls saying "Hi, I'm sieh bored" or something at the same time and I was the only stupid one to reply.

Okay before you judge, please read on!!!
Before Martin and I started talking on Facebook, we met each other before in real life (but never spoke a word) via a mutual acquaintance. Admit it, in a real life situation, if you're in a group, it's actually quite hard to speak to someone you just met without feeling awkward?
Plus what if your friends start calling you a flirt and teasing the both of you cause you speak to her? What if she feels shy and distances herself from you?? All your chances would obviously be killed right?
Okay I might post about my story with my boyfriend, but I'll save that for another time ^^

So anyway, Facebook and Twitter are the perfect platforms for shy SINGLE guys to be brave and talk to SINGLE girls!
You don't need to make eye contact which is awkward, you can check on the guys' history of social interaction with girls, you can see him at his most presentable form (else first impressions may be awful if you meet a guy in his home clothes under his block for the first time LOL) through pictures taken by their female friends, what's so bad about it?

I mean, you can't actually fault a single guy for trying.
After all, he's SINGLE.
If he doesn't mingle around, a girlfriend isn't going to grow from a piece of mould growing on him from staying home for too long,
or you can't expect girls to climb out from TV sets all the time?

Also, I think that girls these days are quite cynical and mean.. I am no exception of course hahaha!

Guys ask you out on Facebook, you judge them for being desperate.
Guys ask you for number outside, you laugh at them calling them weird and walk away.
But when you have no boyfriend, you complain that Singaporean guys are totally hopeless and cannot take the initiative....

Girls are so complicated! LOL thank god i'm not a guy! :p

Or maybe..
It's really the looks of the guys that chat you up that matters....?

Cute guy: Hey, wanna go out?
You: Yeah sure!!! *blush* *tweets about this super cute guy and how excited you are!!! totally forgetting about the tweet you posted about how Singaporean guys have no initiative*

Ugly guy: Hey, wanna go out?
You: Wtf you want despo??? Fuck off, stop bothering me! *goes on to bitch on Twitter about some super despo weird freak trying to hit on you and you wish guys would just stop talking to you and you wanna turn lesbian*


So the next time a guy chats you up, don't tell him off even if you don't like him. Acknowledge that he had put in some effort in taking the initiative in speaking to you... and then just block him quietly..? :x


1 comment:

bettyy said...

ah! you shld post the story of you and martin getting together :D it will be so sweet!