Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Boys are not ATMs

I once had a classmate in secondary school who would boast about how she could get several boys to like her at the same time and then they'd all buy her chocolates and flowers..
And then I wished for lots of boys to like me too so that I could get presents for free!

(picture credit to google)

But when some nice boys really liked me,
(I say they are nice because nobody is actually obliged to like me, so if they like me they are being nice, I shouldn't take it for granted)
I feel really bad for them whenever they bought something for me,
even if it was something small like a donut or a keychain or whatever.

One of the main reasons is because I have a younger brother and I guess he'd probably buy gifts for other girls as well
so I'd feel like it is super unfair for my him if girls expected gifts out of him too.
So I never believed in asking boys (or anyone in general) for gifts ever since.

And this brings me to my topic for ranting today:
BOYS ARE NOT ATMs

In case you're not local or your country doesn't use the term ATM, it actually stands for automated teller machine where you can make cash withdrawals etc.



I find it horribly detestable when girls demand gifts from boys especially in the case where both parties are still not working and still getting allowances from their parents.

I mean excuse me, his parents worked hard to give him an allowance for his own enjoyment, to buy whatever toys or food or clothes or other stuff that he needs.
Who is this bitch to demand that the poor boy uses his allowance on her, just because she has a vjj?

And I don't care if she's fucking pretty or hot, because looking good doesn't give you the right to take advantage of someone else and get away with it.

Plus I highly doubt his parents would want his allowance to be spent on her instead of on their own son.


So what could be worse than that?
When they want BRANDED and EXPENSIVE stuff from their boyfriends (or even worse, some guy they're not even dating omfg... just die already please)!

(pretty blue earrings from http://www.jipaban.com/)

It's not even just demanding to be treated to basic meals or movies or bouquets of flowers anymore
some girls really have the audacity to ask of guys to buy them things that cost $xxxx or more as if the boys are totally obliged to do so.

And what's worse is if the guy doesn't come from an extremely wealthy family
and yet has to work his ass off because of this bitch's fucking childish bitchy tantrums and never-ending wants?

Um, I'm sorry but...
the last time I heard from you, you got yourself a new boyfriend, not a new walking ATM?

Plus, if I were the guy, I'd rather give that money to my parents so they won't have to work so hard. Tsk.

I've even had a guy friend who BORROWED money from his friends to buy a branded bag for his back then girlfriend.


You spent all your life savings on a bag you probably didn't know how to appreciate anyway,
burdened your friends by borrowing crap loads of money,
strained your friendships cause you made them pissed as f cause you don't have the ability to pay them back,
to impress a girl who is now in the arms of another guy.

How noble is your love..... NOT.


Anyway, everyone who is a pro-female or feminist etc shouldn't be pissed at my post thinking that I don't want girls to have this special unspoken right to get everything for free.

If you are a pro-female or feminist, you should actually be agreeing with me because you'll know that us girls ARE now capable of earning and supporting ourselves without relying financially on a man.
And expecting a guy to pay for everything for you is sort of admitting that you are socially inferior to guys because you subconsciously believe that they are more able at earning a living than you are and hence should be obliged pay for all your expenditures.

This is especially for countries such as Singapore where our education system is based on merit and both genders share a fair chance of getting kickass degrees and clinching high paying jobs.

(Mint dress from http://www.jipaban.com/)

Why should a boy, who studied the same things as you did, went through the same examination hell as you did, sat beside you in class and ate the same canteen food as you, HAVE TO pay for all your stuff when you guys end up with similar salaries anyway?
Quite unreasonable isn't it?

Again, I need to disclaim that I am not talking about guys who voluntarily treat girls because they are nice and all.
I'm talking about girls who actually DEMAND stuff from guys because they think their vjjs give them all the rights to.

I'm not asking everyone to be super calculative when it comes to going dutch or footing the bill in general,
but at least just don't EXPECT anyone to pay for your stuff.
If they do so extremely willingly, good for you.
But please don't be so self-centered as to make it seem like others OWE you a living.


This brings me to my next point about people who like to exploit their "rich friends", and this applies to both genders.

(*le me trying to look all rich and tai tai in leopard fur coat.... failing badly and just looking like a fat person with shades LOL)

Again, I really detest people who think that it is totally okay to just leech off their friends who come from a more well-to-do family.
I guess we all should know of some people who will shamelessly and constantly ask to be treated to everything and anything because they are "broke"/ didn't have any cash with them
and know that their friends are probably too nice to ask them to GTFO.

I don't care if that rich friend stays in a country-club sized house with an Olympic sized swimming pool and an elevator in it, that's their parents' / their money,
NOT HIS/HERS/YOURS/MINE.
Who are you to feel like you are entitled to a part of that wealth?
Unless you are his trusty sidekick who helps him earn his big bucks yada yada
But chances are that this money-sucker is not.

And of course, if that rich person willingly decides to throw a huge party and treat everyone to bottles of Cristal and buy everyone a Celine bag or whatever fancy stuff then okay, help yourself to it.

But please don't ask to be treated to stuff shamelessly and also constantly because it pisses people off a whole lot.

Another example would be people who like to suck free meals out of you whenever you get your paycheck or win a few dollars from stuff like 4D or soccer betting.
Not referring to those who say it in a harmless teasing way while congratulating you of course.

Like, are you fucking kidding me?
Were you even there when I was working hard at my job and died in bed everyday from exhaustion and cried from facing difficult customers?
And now you want to claim some benefit from my measly paycheck? Really?
Or what do you want from my $50 winning from 4D? A new pair of shoes? Oh yes sure I would love to spend all my once in a blue moon winnings on you. *roll eyes*

Hate those people.


Girls always say that they like to be treated like princesses.
I'm not sure if some girls ever realise this but.. boys like to be pampered too!
We're all the same, we like to be loved and treated well (sadists and masochists not included).

(this look is inspired by Angelababy!! ^~^)

As much as girls would like to be surprised with gifts and flowers and presents,
I guess boys would like them too (maybe not flowers)!

So if you want to be treated like a princess, ask yourself if you are treating your man like someone who is worthy of a princess or not.
A healthy relationship would be a Princess & a Prince, NOT a Princess & a free Slave/Dog.

Also, if you truly love a guy, you should actually make him feel comfortable being with you,
and not have him constantly fretting over what he has to pay for next because of your endless whims and wants.
Plus, it would be extremely suffocating and stressful to be in a relationship where your partner forces you to pay for her stuff when you aren't even earning a lot to begin with.


Here's something very close to heart that happened only recently..

Last year on my birthday, my boyfriend gave me a gigantamous hand made birthday card,
wrapped in brown paper (which he knows I always use for wrapping clothes when I mail them out)
with a huge stamp (he enlarged a picture of a stamp and printed it out hehe) and wrote my address on it, like a real parcel!
I was happy beyond belief because I've never received such an adorable and sincere gift from a boy before! Never ever!!


And then this year, he bought me a heart shaped necklace which I thought was really sweet and wear it 24/7 lol!


I didn't actually read too much into the presents he gave me until he told me:

Last year I didn't manage to buy you a present because I didn't have a job yet and didn't have any money
(it was when he just graduated from school, and too short a period to get a job cause he was going to get enlisted into the army soon),
but this year, I've started working and so I bought you a better present.

I ALMOST BROKE INTO TEARS WHEN I HEARD THAT.
TEARS OF JOY.

He actually signed on to army by the way so he now has a stable paying job
but omg the point is that I have such a matured and wise boyfriend!!!!!! :')

He has exactly the same mindset as I do - Spend responsibly and never spend beyond your means

And to me, it was such an awesome thing to hear from him because I know for sure that he will be responsible enough if we should one day settle down and start a family :')

Also, I'm the type who don't need a boyfriend who buys me gifts.
The best gifts a guy can give me are his love, loyalty and his time.


Would you rather a guy who buys expensive presents for you all the time
but cheats on you and probably buys 10 other girls nice presents too?

A woman's loyalty is tested when her man has nothing. A man's loyalty is tested when he has everything.


Our cost of living is high and money doesn't come easily for everyone.

I personally think it's quite a stupid decision to ditch a guy with a good character just because he can't bring you to fancy restaurants all the time or buy you branded things.
But please ditch him if he is LAZY and UNMOTIVATED to work to at least support himself though.

My mum was telling me the other day about how good husbands would responsibly work hard to support their families.

And then I told her
Times have changed. I don't need and neither do I expect a man to support me financially because girls nowadays are capable of earning their own dough. As long as he doesn't burden me and can support himself, I am happy enough.

:)


Again, I have to apologise for the verbal diarrhea..
I realise I tend to rant a lot hahah!
Not sure if you guys like these sort of rant posts but I really needed to get this off my chest!

To end off:

Work hard for what you want. Anything that comes easy and free is a bonus and a blessing, but never a right.
Nobody is obliged to be nice or good to you so be extremely appreciative even if it is a simple act of kindness.

Thanks for reading, love you all! :)

9 comments:

Steph said...

i love this post! makes so much sense ^_^ my bf doesn't give me very expensive gifts (in fact we don't even give each other gifts on our anniversaries) but we're good! he spends time with me whenever he can & i think that's the greatest gift of all!! :D

pxdkitty said...

@steph thank you so much love! <3 and i feel so happy for you that you have such a sweet relationship!! :D

Anonymous said...

like your post!
for me, I even feel ps if my bf wants to pay for our food! :(
weird right? hahaha.


Hannah said...

yay for responsible bloggers like you that don't just push people to spend spend spend but be rational and think of how they treat people (not just their bfs)!
what matters is always the heart, and yours is truly a heart of gold :)

Anonymous said...

there are ppl who are rich themselves but like to sponge on poorer ppl & give them burden & feel smug abt it.
they are stingy & give little to family but spend & splurge on themselves. family is like stepping stones to them. endless.. cannot finish writing, sibeh hurt by heartless ppl.

Anonymous said...

I've been loving your posts so much, especially these insightful ones on life's lessons and all,. You're awesome and not shallow (like i thought you would be, i'm sorry!), so glad i found your blog!

Estelle said...

Reading it I felt a little guilty because
I am a very straightforward person and often joke with my close friends to treat me to lunch or buy me stuff but at the end of the day I am just joking with them.
It's like writing down your wish list hoping some generous people can make it come through although you are able to afford it.
And when they do I feel quite shy for sending their money but at the same time don't reject it because I am a cheapo :X
But I have decided to change now because I personally detest those people who takes everything for granted and only knows how to demand for more and sometimes unknowingly I am one of them.
I am really glad I followed your blog because I am inspired to become a better person by reading your motivational "rants" you are like the older sister I never had.
Thank you and God Bless :)!

Anonymous said...

Thanks, this really wakes me up. I was a bitch back then..

Susan Lolo Bua said...

hi Rachel, your post today is real,
some girl date with boy cuz the boy is rich and could give her everything she need, but also, there is a boy who just take advantage from his girlfriend, since his girlfriend have rich parents, i have seen this case when i was on school, my classmate dated with our junior cuz the girl always spend her bf, and always help him about financial, people now days is cruel, only now take advantage from other, won't work just want free thing from other. i agree if we working hard God see our effort and open the windows of blessing, pour the bless to our life.

i'm from Indonesia, i'm glad if you want post my comment, i have comment your before but you didn't post it, maybe you dont like my comment, i'm sorry for that.
Have a bless day <3