Monday, December 31, 2012

Everything happens for a reason

I think we all know that feeling too well when something major screws up in our life,
and then a long chain of shit happens one after another,
and we're like...

But I just want to say that if you're going through a rough time right now,
hang in there!

I've had really low points in my life as well where everything just messed up so effing bad it felt like ending my life would be so much easier.
But I also know that suicide doesn't just involve you, but it also hurts the ones who love you super badly.
I've cried my eyes dry at a funeral blaming myself for a friend's unnatural death, and everyone else there did too.
And what was most heartbreaking was hearing my friend's mother crying in grieve and repeatedly apologizing, "Mummy is sorry..."

You may not realise it, but a lot more people care for you than you think.
You just have to give them a chance to show you that they care,
and by that I don't mean tweeting emotional tweets hoping that they will see it (we don't stalk your tweets 24/7~).
Give them a text or call letting them know you need a listening ear right now, and you'll see what I mean! :)

I believe that everything happens for a reason, good or bad.
And right now you may not know what that reason is, but some day you eventually will.

"Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know everything happens for a reason." ~ Albert Schweitzer

Good things and bad things, they all add together to make up who we are and who we're going to become.
While everyone definitely wishes for good things to happen, bad things aren't always bad as well.

Think about it.
When you were a kid, losing your favourite toy or not getting an extra candy felt like the end of the world.
But did your world end there? No.
When you got older, failing your first exam made you feel like the stupidest person in the world and you felt super useless and thought your life was going to be over.
But is it? No.
When you first got your heart broken, it hurt so much you thought that you might just die.
But did you? No.

Truth is, what you think is of massive importance right now isn't really going to be that important in a few years' time,
and don't worry, you're not going to die from it (unless you murdered someone or did some heinous crime then I really cannot guarantee you anything).
You just need to learn not to take shit that happens so seriously.

Besides, better to have shit than have nothing? (Shit can be used as fertilisers for plants, and it's still good for something lol!)
Jokes aside, there are actually a lot of things we can learn from shit that happens.

When you fail an exam you studied super hard for, don't think of it as the gods above are toying with you.
Ask yourself what went wrong - Did you lose your marks to carelessness/complacency? Did you study hard but not study smart? Were you too nervous and made silly mistakes during the exam? - and learn not to make those mistakes again.
During a class test in secondary school, I once had my calculator in RAD mode by accident instead of DEG mode, and all my answers screwed up damn badly and I failed my test.
I found out only AFTER the test and panicked like mad..
But from then on, I was super careful with my calculator mode and never made the same mistakes again!
Thankfully it was a class test and not during O levels!

When you lose your cash/ handphone/ wallet, don't start blaming everyone else.
Ask yourself first if you're to blame as well.
There was once when I went to a club to visit a friend who was feeling down (disclaimer: I went without much make up, in a big black TEESHIRT & sandals, and that guy is a mutual friend of mine and my boyfriend's, and my boyfriend knew I was going there),
with $400 in my bag (initially wanted to deposit it but I forgot to),
and because my friend told me VIP area should be safe and I accompanied my friend to the smoking room (disclaimer again: I don't smoke),
*poof* my cash pulled off a disappearing act.
Obviously I felt the pain of losing my cash and got lectured by my boyfriend for being so careless :(
But no amount of scolding or regret is going to bring my cash back, and all I can do is to suck it up and be more careful in future.
From that incident, I learnt that no matter how safe you're told a place is, it's always good to not let your guards down, especially when you're not familiar with the place (I don't go to clubs usually).
I should have just brought my entire bag with me to the smoking room T~T
And I also learnt that clubs are REALLY not my kind of place. Bad enough that I can't stand alcohol, don't like crowds, don't like being touched by other guys, don't like feeling pressured to do what they do in clubs,
now I got robbed of $400 in a club.
Never stepping into a club ever again, lol!

When you get your heart broken by a jerk, I know the feeling sucks, but just remember that there's a lot you can learn from it.
Maybe you need to learn not to fall for people so easily
Maybe you need to learn not to trust so easily
Maybe you need to learn that people who tell you sweet things all the time aren't always good for you
Maybe you need to realise that that jerk isn't really that perfect guy you initially thought he was
and the list goes on!
I've met quite a number of jerks myself and even got hit by my exbf before and at that time I really lost faith in all humanity (hahah alright, quite exaggerated but you get my drift),
but all of that doesn't matter now because
Suck on that, lousy ex-boyfriends!!!
I wrote a long blogpost for girls (and boys) going through heartbreaks HERE quite some time back, so do read it if you need some Agony Aunt Rachell right now haha!

When your friend/ loved one betrays you or turn their backs against you when you're in trouble,
well good for you because at least you've seen their true colours!
Now all you have to do is to move on (I know it's hard, but try your best!!) and focus on loving the right people!

You will meet a lot of wrong people in life so that when you meet the right ones, you can appreciate them better.

When you really really want to buy something but it's out of stock or too expensive right now
and not having it makes you feel super upset, maybe it's just not the *right* time for it yet.
Previously Martin had his eyes on this particular electric guitar which cost $2.8k
and it's the same guitar model that his idol used,
so to him, owning it would be like girls owning a real Celine bag or Birkin bag or something.
But we decided not to buy it in the end because $2.8k is simply too expensive for us.
We went back to the shop half a year later (which is recently), and they were having a Christmas sale!
Guess how much the guitar went for? $1.9k!
Wait for the best part...
The display set was the last set available and it had a few minor scratches on the back of it (which could be easily fixed), and the shop owner gave us a further discount and it went for $1.6k LOL!
So Martin bought the electric guitar plus a set of amps ($150) and the total was even lesser than the initially discounted price hahah!
The pain of not owning it few months earlier? What pain??? :D
So yes, if you think there's something you'll DIE without right now and feel tormented by not owning it,
why not wait a while and see what happens? :)

Good things are worth the wait!
(applies to waiting for the right guy/girl too)

When you're out and it's pouring, you're without an umbrella, you're running late, there're no cab around, your heels just broke while you're crossing the street,
well okay, shit like this happens to EVERYBODY sometimes.
It's not as if the heavy rain affects only you so don't be too upset by it.
Take it as a chance to train your endurance and patience or something
and try not to let it kill your mood and other people's moods too badly!
Be glad you even have legs to walk to cross the street, can even afford to pay for cab (if there was one around), and can wear pretty heels (some people can't wear heels cause of injuries etc)!

Right now, think about all the bad things that has happened to you so far
and what you've learnt from them and
how much stronger you've become because of them :)
You've been through tough times before and survived, so trust yourself that no obstacles in future can bring you down too.


I reflect on the past, because I came from nothing.” ~ Jinxx (Black Veil Brides)

Life can only be understood backwards,
so for now if everything isn't going too well, don't fret too much!
Everything, good or bad, happens for a reason.

Things will get better!

Happy New Year in advance!!
Hope we'll all have a fantastic 2013 with lots of happy things to come! :D

So here's a sneak preview of what you can expect in 2013...

See you next year (which is like a day away)!

Thank you all for reading, love you all!


Anonymous said...

Thank you for the post Rachell! And happy new year eve's to you! :)

Anonymous said...

awesome post, very true :) hope it will enlighten a lot of misguided teens. you come off really different and unique as compared to other bloggers, super likable too + smart/ classy. keep doing your thing girl, stay classy!

Anonymous said...

Great post! :3 I also love all your clothes omg T_T envious haha!

Em said...

Thank you! I really need this right now, and I can't say how much it meant to me. Good luck for 2013 and happy new year!

Anonymous said...

Hi Rachell! (: I'm a avid reader of your blog and a follower on your Twitter and Instagram. I appreciate how you actually update your blog often and give great advices to us. Thank you for spending time to update your blog, giving us readers another thing to look forward to. Good luck to your future and all the best to you and Martin. (You guys really look sweet together!!) Do continue to update your blog! Cheers! ;)

Anonymous said...

you helped me in this post, thank you, Rachell :)

Anonymous said...

awesome post :),totally made my day haha!keep them coming~~